It's so true that no matter how much research one does, or how many books one reads about birth and parenting an infant, life experience is the best teacher. In my baby's first month of life I feel as if I've been on the fast track of mommy hood and I've learned so much about myself...
...I'm not as patient as I thought I was. I'm really working on this lately. Babies cry sometimes for no apparent reason and it has worn out my patience more than once and I'm sure it will many more times before he's grown! Patience is key in becoming an excellent parent and I think it's worth putting some thought toward what it looks like to be a patient mommy and then act that out. Another term for patience is "long-suffering" - I am learning what it truly means to be long-suffering.
...I'm not as selfless as I thought I was. It's interesting how I realized this when I was first married and I thought I had been broken of my selfishness - NOT. I haven't ever had someone so completely reliant on me for their food, comfort and well being. I've never had to plan my day so completely around another person's eating, sleeping and pooping schedule! I've never NOT been able to exercise or eat or sleep or pee because someone else was screaming like a pterodactyl uncontrollably.
...I've never been so intensely and instinctively protective of anyone or anything before! The people pleaser in me disappears when it comes to protecting my son. Don't mess with my kid. Ever. You may die. Seriously.
...My instincts are stronger than I ever imagined they would be. This has led me to stand up to people and situations in ways I never imagined I could. The instinct to breastfeed is so strong, despite the many obstacles breastfeeding can present. The instinct to have my child close to me at all times is extremely powerful. I need to have eyes on him almost incessantly, and if he's being held by someone else you better believe I'm listening to him and watching him intently, whether I appear to be doing so or not. I miss him when others have held him too long. I want him sleeping with me so that I can hear and feel him breathing. I want him in my sleepy wrap or in my arms so that I can feed or change him as needed BEFORE he gets angry about it and protests loudly. If he's crying, then something must be wrong and I desire to do whatever is necessary to make him comfortable and happy again. All these things have led me to say "no" to different advice that tells me otherwise. If it goes against my deepest gut level instincts I choose to ignore that advice. I wouldn't make a decision that I think would cause my child harm! So I hope that people will respect my inner instinctual mommy and the decisions I'm making because of that.
...Now in saying that I also recognize that I don't know very much about parenting or babies! I wish I knew more! I'm listening to everyone's advice and trying to sift through it to find the right path. It's important to realize as a new mommy that there's a lot of information and advice out there and that sometimes we really need to humbly ask for help from more experienced mommies who have been there before...
...And sometimes we need to ignore negative nellies and naysayers who are discouraging us. I think all new mommies should come up with a polite but firm way of telling such people to back off. It's important to hear people out who love us and want what's best for us and baby, but its also important to make sure we surround ourselves with positive people who support our decisions regardless of their personal opinions.
...I need to be unconditionally loved and supported by others more now than ever before. Mommies have great needs!!! It has touched me deeply that so many family members and friends have come along side me, my hubby and our newest addition to support and love us through this transition into parenthood. Without our families bringing over groceries and making meals, cleaning our house and running our errands, playing with and feeding our puppies, and doing little things like bringing me water and a snack when I'm breastfeeding I wouldn't have made it through the last few weeks without loosing my mind! Every new mommy deserves to have the kind of love and support I've had from my family and in-laws:-)
Well that's about it for month #1! I'm sure when he's 2 months old I will have learned even more! I'm so excited to see what this next month will bring:-)
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