It's so true that no matter how much research one does, or how many books one reads about birth and parenting an infant, life experience is the best teacher. In my baby's first month of life I feel as if I've been on the fast track of mommy hood and I've learned so much about myself...
...I'm not as patient as I thought I was. I'm really working on this lately. Babies cry sometimes for no apparent reason and it has worn out my patience more than once and I'm sure it will many more times before he's grown! Patience is key in becoming an excellent parent and I think it's worth putting some thought toward what it looks like to be a patient mommy and then act that out. Another term for patience is "long-suffering" - I am learning what it truly means to be long-suffering.
...I'm not as selfless as I thought I was. It's interesting how I realized this when I was first married and I thought I had been broken of my selfishness - NOT. I haven't ever had someone so completely reliant on me for their food, comfort and well being. I've never had to plan my day so completely around another person's eating, sleeping and pooping schedule! I've never NOT been able to exercise or eat or sleep or pee because someone else was screaming like a pterodactyl uncontrollably.
...I've never been so intensely and instinctively protective of anyone or anything before! The people pleaser in me disappears when it comes to protecting my son. Don't mess with my kid. Ever. You may die. Seriously.
...My instincts are stronger than I ever imagined they would be. This has led me to stand up to people and situations in ways I never imagined I could. The instinct to breastfeed is so strong, despite the many obstacles breastfeeding can present. The instinct to have my child close to me at all times is extremely powerful. I need to have eyes on him almost incessantly, and if he's being held by someone else you better believe I'm listening to him and watching him intently, whether I appear to be doing so or not. I miss him when others have held him too long. I want him sleeping with me so that I can hear and feel him breathing. I want him in my sleepy wrap or in my arms so that I can feed or change him as needed BEFORE he gets angry about it and protests loudly. If he's crying, then something must be wrong and I desire to do whatever is necessary to make him comfortable and happy again. All these things have led me to say "no" to different advice that tells me otherwise. If it goes against my deepest gut level instincts I choose to ignore that advice. I wouldn't make a decision that I think would cause my child harm! So I hope that people will respect my inner instinctual mommy and the decisions I'm making because of that.
...Now in saying that I also recognize that I don't know very much about parenting or babies! I wish I knew more! I'm listening to everyone's advice and trying to sift through it to find the right path. It's important to realize as a new mommy that there's a lot of information and advice out there and that sometimes we really need to humbly ask for help from more experienced mommies who have been there before...
...And sometimes we need to ignore negative nellies and naysayers who are discouraging us. I think all new mommies should come up with a polite but firm way of telling such people to back off. It's important to hear people out who love us and want what's best for us and baby, but its also important to make sure we surround ourselves with positive people who support our decisions regardless of their personal opinions.
...I need to be unconditionally loved and supported by others more now than ever before. Mommies have great needs!!! It has touched me deeply that so many family members and friends have come along side me, my hubby and our newest addition to support and love us through this transition into parenthood. Without our families bringing over groceries and making meals, cleaning our house and running our errands, playing with and feeding our puppies, and doing little things like bringing me water and a snack when I'm breastfeeding I wouldn't have made it through the last few weeks without loosing my mind! Every new mommy deserves to have the kind of love and support I've had from my family and in-laws:-)
Well that's about it for month #1! I'm sure when he's 2 months old I will have learned even more! I'm so excited to see what this next month will bring:-)
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
Top 10 New Mommy Tools
I have only been a new mommy for 3 weeks now but I have some tools in my "belt" that I wouldn't want to go without! These are things I use daily that make my transition into mommy hood just a tad easier and I figured I should share them with other mommies out there. :-) In no particular order, here are my personal top ten...
1. Ear Buds: for your cell phone so you can still talk to family and friends while breastfeeding, doing dishes, etc.
2. Milkies Milk Saver: it catches the letdown from the breast your baby isn't nursing on! Fantastic idea that fits snugly into your bra and keeps you and baby dry while collecting that otherwise wasted letdown milk for future feedings! Brilliant
3. Sleepy Wrap: Amazing baby wearing wrap that keeps baby safe, snug and comfy so that mommy's hands are free to multitask! Perfect for walks, going to the store and getting chores done around the house while keeping baby happy.
4. Swaddlers: I have 3 and wouldn't go a single night without them! There are times Josiah literally won't settle down for ANYTHING until he's swaddled. I have a Halo Sleep Sack, a Miracle Swaddler and a Summer Swaddler... out of those 3 the Miracle Swaddler is probably my favorite because Josiah's hands and arms get in the way of breastfeeding constantly and it keeps his arms securely tucked away far better than the other two. However, I like the Halo Sleep Sack with the connected swaddler piece best for the convenient diaper changing feature of a zipper that unzips from the bottom up. I suggest everyone have a combination of these 2. Skip the Summer Swaddler if possible and use your money for the other 2 brands.
5. Reusable Lunapads: ok I know some people think this one is gross, but hear me out - I used disposable pads for my first week and half postpartum and HATED every minute of it! They were incredibly uncomfortable, itched, rubbed and got scrunched up in my underwear constantly. When you're a walking zombie who's vagina feels like a bowling ball just went through it and whose breasts are sore from being sucked on night and day, you'll do anything to be comfortable! I switched to my lunapads and won't ever go back! They're super soft and absorbent so I'm much more comfortable plus I can just toss them in the wash and reuse them. They're eco-friendly, sure, but most importantly they're comfortable AND money saving;-)
6. Reusable Breast Pads: I have some all cotton ones that work decently well through one breastfeeding session without my milkies milk saver when I'm out and about. But I LOVE my bamboo, water proof backed sets of reusable breast pads from bububibi.com. They have a water proof backing on them so that even when I soak through them it doesn't leak through my shirt. Again, just toss these in the wash OR hand rinse them and lay them in the sun to dry to kill yeast, neutralize breast milk stains and leave them smelling fresh.
7. Homemade Oatmeal Sitz Bath: Do yourself a HUGE favor and take a sits bath everyday for a week immediately postpartum so that you heal faster and feel refreshed. A happy momma = a happy baby:-) My homemade formula: 1 big bag epsom salts (maybe 8 cups worth), 1 box powdered oatmeal (found in baby food section), 20-30 drops of lavender oil and 20-30 drops geranium oil. Hand mix all together and put in large container. Use 1 cup of mixture per bath, soak in hot water for at least 15 minutes while baby sits nearby or someone else holds them for a while. You deserve this momma!
8. Comfort Zone Album: by Steven Halpern. Find it on iTunes for $10. I practiced my hypnobirthing with this cd and actually went through labor and birth with this playing in the background. It has lulled me and baby to sleep when nothing else would over the last few weeks. Worth every penny! The soothing notes have no particular beat to them making it easier to drift off to.
9. Camelback Water Bottle: Invest in a fancy insulated one with the camelback straw. This thing is on my bedside table and follows me around the house from breastfeeding station to bedside table to the kitchen. Essential for breastfeeding mommas who should be drinking around 100 fluid ounces of water per day!
10. High Protein, High Fat Snacks: A well fed momma can produce good milk for her baby. It's inevitable that sometimes you will forget to eat until you're starving and when does that usually hit you? In the middle of the night, when you're breastfeeding and unable to get up and fix yourself something. SO - keep some nuts and seeds based trail mixes on hand at all times and on your bedside table. Find some healthy, pre-prepared foods you can keep near your primary breastfeeding station and eat when the baby eats or right after. You will be glad you did!
1. Ear Buds: for your cell phone so you can still talk to family and friends while breastfeeding, doing dishes, etc.
2. Milkies Milk Saver: it catches the letdown from the breast your baby isn't nursing on! Fantastic idea that fits snugly into your bra and keeps you and baby dry while collecting that otherwise wasted letdown milk for future feedings! Brilliant
3. Sleepy Wrap: Amazing baby wearing wrap that keeps baby safe, snug and comfy so that mommy's hands are free to multitask! Perfect for walks, going to the store and getting chores done around the house while keeping baby happy.
4. Swaddlers: I have 3 and wouldn't go a single night without them! There are times Josiah literally won't settle down for ANYTHING until he's swaddled. I have a Halo Sleep Sack, a Miracle Swaddler and a Summer Swaddler... out of those 3 the Miracle Swaddler is probably my favorite because Josiah's hands and arms get in the way of breastfeeding constantly and it keeps his arms securely tucked away far better than the other two. However, I like the Halo Sleep Sack with the connected swaddler piece best for the convenient diaper changing feature of a zipper that unzips from the bottom up. I suggest everyone have a combination of these 2. Skip the Summer Swaddler if possible and use your money for the other 2 brands.
5. Reusable Lunapads: ok I know some people think this one is gross, but hear me out - I used disposable pads for my first week and half postpartum and HATED every minute of it! They were incredibly uncomfortable, itched, rubbed and got scrunched up in my underwear constantly. When you're a walking zombie who's vagina feels like a bowling ball just went through it and whose breasts are sore from being sucked on night and day, you'll do anything to be comfortable! I switched to my lunapads and won't ever go back! They're super soft and absorbent so I'm much more comfortable plus I can just toss them in the wash and reuse them. They're eco-friendly, sure, but most importantly they're comfortable AND money saving;-)
6. Reusable Breast Pads: I have some all cotton ones that work decently well through one breastfeeding session without my milkies milk saver when I'm out and about. But I LOVE my bamboo, water proof backed sets of reusable breast pads from bububibi.com. They have a water proof backing on them so that even when I soak through them it doesn't leak through my shirt. Again, just toss these in the wash OR hand rinse them and lay them in the sun to dry to kill yeast, neutralize breast milk stains and leave them smelling fresh.
7. Homemade Oatmeal Sitz Bath: Do yourself a HUGE favor and take a sits bath everyday for a week immediately postpartum so that you heal faster and feel refreshed. A happy momma = a happy baby:-) My homemade formula: 1 big bag epsom salts (maybe 8 cups worth), 1 box powdered oatmeal (found in baby food section), 20-30 drops of lavender oil and 20-30 drops geranium oil. Hand mix all together and put in large container. Use 1 cup of mixture per bath, soak in hot water for at least 15 minutes while baby sits nearby or someone else holds them for a while. You deserve this momma!
8. Comfort Zone Album: by Steven Halpern. Find it on iTunes for $10. I practiced my hypnobirthing with this cd and actually went through labor and birth with this playing in the background. It has lulled me and baby to sleep when nothing else would over the last few weeks. Worth every penny! The soothing notes have no particular beat to them making it easier to drift off to.
9. Camelback Water Bottle: Invest in a fancy insulated one with the camelback straw. This thing is on my bedside table and follows me around the house from breastfeeding station to bedside table to the kitchen. Essential for breastfeeding mommas who should be drinking around 100 fluid ounces of water per day!
10. High Protein, High Fat Snacks: A well fed momma can produce good milk for her baby. It's inevitable that sometimes you will forget to eat until you're starving and when does that usually hit you? In the middle of the night, when you're breastfeeding and unable to get up and fix yourself something. SO - keep some nuts and seeds based trail mixes on hand at all times and on your bedside table. Find some healthy, pre-prepared foods you can keep near your primary breastfeeding station and eat when the baby eats or right after. You will be glad you did!
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