Baby's Fourth Month: Life Lessons for Mommy

MmMmmMm! 4 months old already!!! I can't believe it! He's already 1/3 of the way through his first year of life! Sheesh!

...Time is really flying now. It seems like he's growing up so fast. Now he's starting to lift up and try to sit up a bit. He wants to see everything going on around him. He wants to be upright more often when I'm holding him too. Hence the boppy and his swing are always propping him up!

...He's also spitting up more often lately. Ick. It's just so darn frustrating because I'm thinking "Geeze kid, it's not like we just spent 30 minutes breastfeeding or anything. No worries, I can just make more milk in the next 30 seconds."Not. Burp rags and bibs are my best friends these days.

...He is becoming his own person lately. I'm starting to notice he has opinions about things. For instance, when he is woken up he wants to eat. Not be laid back down on the changing table to be changed or cleaned up first. No way Jose - he wants his numnums NOW. And if he doesn't get it, he's definitely going to be pitching a fit. The funny thing is, it's our routine to change his diaper when he wakes up before he eats because he won't eat if its messy. It's just a lose lose situation I guess!

Things he loves right now:
His mirror
his play gym with toys dangling above him
his hands and fingers
watching himself move his own feet
smiling:-) A LOT
oh and his new seahorse glowworm!
watching the puppies play
daddy blowing on his belly and making him giggle

Things I LOVE about him and being a mommy this month:
his little hands - they're so pudgy and strong!
his little feet and toes - he's constantly trying to use them to grip things
his sweet mouth and the noises he makes
his facial expressions are hilarious
breastfeeding is so much easier
he's eating so much more efficiently!

Baby's Third Month: Life Lessons for Mommy

Soooo...as some of you may have noticed I missed blogging for month #3. whoops.

Well as you can imagine life is kinda crazy sometimes and I forgot to write down my life lessons for mommy...BUT that doesn't mean I can't recall some of the highlights! I haven't lost ALL of my braincells...yet.

...At 3 months old baby is so much more alert! He actually needs entertainment and enjoys watching anything that moves, particularly if it makes noise too! Anything with a screen is already immensely interesting to him, but we're avoiding allowing him to watch screens. It just doesn't seem right or wise to allow him to watch a tv or movie all day instead of putting him on his play mat and encouraging him to grab, swat and kick at things. The boy needs to use his muscles! And his brain too! Josiah is spending more time on his play mat and on his tummy lately.

...When he turned 3 months old he decided he wanted to sleep on his stomach. Not JUST on his stomach, but face down and nose pressed against the fabric! I was terrified the first time I caught him like this in his Special Delivery Baby hammock! Turns out he must be able to breathe just fine because he's been doing it for a month now every time he takes a nap or goes to bed without fail. I even tried waking him and adjusting him back onto his back multiple times and only ended up with an angry baby who put himself right back on his stomach every time. Now I put him to bed and pray over him that God keeps him safe because I certainly can't prevent the stomach sleeping! No worries though, he doesn't sleep with a blankie or any kind of stuffy - we just swaddle his lower half or put him in a sleep sack to keep him warm!

...He's talking so much! Talking, talking, talking. I love it and can't get enough of it!

...Breasfeeding is a breeze! As long as he doesn't need to burp or toot, all is good and peaceful. PRAISE JESUS! Because the first couple months just about did me in.

Overall, I'm just really enjoying motherhood more now. I love watching him grow and learn. It's amazing to see him figuring out in that tiny head how to coordinate his hands and feet to do things. It's wonderful to have him smile and coo right to me. Goodness he's just so precious!

Baby's Second Month: Life Lessons for Mommy

As I sit here breastfeeding my 2 month old and simultaneously blogging I realize that I've learned so much and grown so much as a mother in the last month since my last entry. This post is for all those mommas out there who are still in the early weeks feeling like there's no end in sight to the long sleepless nights and even longer days. Let this be a source of encouragement that it really DOES get better everyday! I've included in the following paragraphs some links to the products that have made my journey through mommy hood a bit easier in hopes that they will help some of you, too :-). So here are my life lessons for month #2 of my child's life...

...I'm a "master multitasker" these days! I'm finally comfortable and confident enough breastfeeding that I can make phone calls, do research on the web, blog, read and update Facebook, clean, cook and even do laundry all while feeding my kiddo:-). Thanks to my handy dandy sleepy wrap and boba carrier I've also managed to pick out paint at Lowe's, grocery shop and browse a furniture store while feeding baby! Basically a mommy HAS to become a "master multitasker," if she isn't one already prenatally, or she'll never get anything done! Maybe it's pushing it to say I'm a "MASTER multitasker".... let's say I'm working toward becoming one asap.

...I'm more laid back than I was a month ago and it's benefitting me and my family in many ways. I'm not as stressed when he cries. I'm not freaking out every time he doesn't latch properly right away. I'm not screaming and cursing and pissed off all the time because I'm hungry, exhausted and feeling alone. I'm growing used to the idea of being a mommy and I've accepted the facts of mothering an infant include lack of sleep sometimes and little time for myself, and that's ok, because in a few years I'm gonna miss these days and miss Josiah being so tiny and utterly dependent upon me.

..."Let The Children Come Along The Infant Way" by Gary Ezzo and his wife Anne Marie should be mandatory reading for every new parent!!! You know, if I were to be honest, this book is the reason why I am able to function as a healthy, happy, well rested parent with a healthy, happy, well rested infant. Josiah slept through the night for the first time the very first day we began implementing the habits the Ezzo's suggest in this book. No joke! I got 8 hours straight of sound sleep and it rocked my world! We recently moved to Savannah and he hasn't slept through the night since we arrived, but we're working on it. The cycle of "sleep, eat, wake" suggested in their book is beyond brilliant. I implemented it when baby was 6 weeks old and never looked back. I have a different baby - my once fussy, screaming, inconsolable child who I thought may have colic is now as happy and content as he can be unless his diaper is dirty, he's sleepy or gassy. He only cries and fusses for legitimate, definable reasons now and I am better rested and able to schedule my life to better accommodate time for my husband (who recently got back from a deployment) and unpacking our new home!

...I'm so in love with my son. It's not that I haven't loved him before now, obviously, it's just that in those early weeks postpartum I felt like a zombie - just barely surviving day after day. I feel as though I really didn't enjoy him as I should have. I wish I would have relaxed more and enjoyed him more instead of being so worried and stressed. Now I'm finally settling into mommy hood and enjoying my sweet little boy! His personality is starting to emerge more strongly every week. He's smiling and cooing so much! He sees us and other things around him so much more clearly so he responds to things with the funniest reactions. The world is so new to him and it's wonderful to show him things and see his reactions. He saw the tv for the first time last night as we watched the opening ceremonies for the olympics and he was completely mesmerized! His eyes were bugging out! I could go on and on about him :-)

Highlights of Josiah at 2 months old: eyes seeing more clearly, smiling and cooing at stimuli, started smiling at his flashing star on his baby gym mat, saw the tv for the first time and was mesmerized, loves being outside, slept through the night!, moved to Savannah, slept in his own bed and then his own room for the first time, daddy came home from Afghanistan:-)

Baby's First Month: Life Lessons for Mommy

It's so true that no matter how much research one does, or how many books one reads about birth and parenting an infant, life experience is the best teacher. In my baby's first month of life I feel as if I've been on the fast track of mommy hood and I've learned so much about myself...
...I'm not as patient as I thought I was. I'm really working on this lately. Babies cry sometimes for no apparent reason and it has worn out my patience more than once and I'm sure it will many more times before he's grown! Patience is key in becoming an excellent parent and I think it's worth putting some thought toward what it looks like to be a patient mommy and then act that out. Another term for patience is "long-suffering" - I am learning what it truly means to be long-suffering.
...I'm not as selfless as I thought I was. It's interesting how I realized this when I was first married and I thought I had been broken of my selfishness - NOT. I haven't ever had someone so completely reliant on me for their food, comfort and well being. I've never had to plan my day so completely around another person's eating, sleeping and pooping schedule! I've never NOT been able to exercise or eat or sleep or pee because someone else was screaming like a pterodactyl uncontrollably.
...I've never been so intensely and instinctively protective of anyone or anything before! The people pleaser in me disappears when it comes to protecting my son. Don't mess with my kid. Ever. You may die. Seriously.
...My instincts are stronger than I ever imagined they would be. This has led me to stand up to people and situations in ways I never imagined I could. The instinct to breastfeed is so strong, despite the many obstacles breastfeeding can present. The instinct to have my child close to me at all times is extremely powerful. I need to have eyes on him almost incessantly, and if he's being held by someone else you better believe I'm listening to him and watching him intently, whether I appear to be doing so or not. I miss him when others have held him too long. I want him sleeping with me so that I can hear and feel him breathing. I want him in my sleepy wrap or in my arms so that I can feed or change him as needed BEFORE he gets angry about it and protests loudly. If he's crying, then something must be wrong and I desire to do whatever is necessary to make him comfortable and happy again. All these things have led me to say "no" to different advice that tells me otherwise. If it goes against my deepest gut level instincts I choose to ignore that advice. I wouldn't make a decision that I think would cause my child harm! So I hope that people will respect my inner instinctual mommy and the decisions I'm making because of that.
...Now in saying that I also recognize that I don't know very much about parenting or babies! I wish I knew more! I'm listening to everyone's advice and trying to sift through it to find the right path. It's important to realize as a new mommy that there's a lot of information and advice out there and that sometimes we really need to humbly ask for help from more experienced mommies who have been there before...
...And sometimes we need to ignore negative nellies and naysayers who are discouraging us. I think all new mommies should come up with a polite but firm way of telling such people to back off. It's important to hear people out who love us and want what's best for us and baby, but its also important to make sure we surround ourselves with positive people who support our decisions regardless of their personal opinions.
...I need to be unconditionally loved and supported by others more now than ever before. Mommies have great needs!!! It has touched me deeply that so many family members and friends have come along side me, my hubby and our newest addition to support and love us through this transition into parenthood. Without our families bringing over groceries and making meals, cleaning our house and running our errands, playing with and feeding our puppies, and doing little things like bringing me water and a snack when I'm breastfeeding I wouldn't have made it through the last few weeks without loosing my mind! Every new mommy deserves to have the kind of love and support I've had from my family and in-laws:-)

Well that's about it for month #1! I'm sure when he's 2 months old I will have learned even more! I'm so excited to see what this next month will bring:-)

Top 10 New Mommy Tools

I have only been a new mommy for 3 weeks now but I have some tools in my "belt" that I wouldn't want to go without! These are things I use daily that make my transition into mommy hood just a tad easier and I figured I should share them with other mommies out there. :-) In no particular order, here are my personal top ten...

1. Ear Buds: for your cell phone so you can still talk to family and friends while breastfeeding, doing dishes, etc.

2. Milkies Milk Saver: it catches the letdown from the breast your baby isn't nursing on! Fantastic idea that fits snugly into your bra and keeps you and baby dry while collecting that otherwise wasted letdown milk for future feedings! Brilliant

3. Sleepy Wrap: Amazing baby wearing wrap that keeps baby safe, snug and comfy so that mommy's hands are free to multitask! Perfect for walks, going to the store and getting chores done around the house while keeping baby happy.

4. Swaddlers: I have 3 and wouldn't go a single night without them! There are times Josiah literally won't settle down for ANYTHING until he's swaddled. I have a Halo Sleep Sack, a Miracle Swaddler and a Summer Swaddler... out of those 3 the Miracle Swaddler is probably my favorite because Josiah's hands and arms get in the way of breastfeeding constantly and it keeps his arms securely tucked away far better than the other two. However, I like the Halo Sleep Sack with the connected swaddler piece best for the convenient diaper changing feature of a zipper that unzips from the bottom up. I suggest everyone have a combination of these 2. Skip the Summer Swaddler if possible and use your money for the other 2 brands.

5. Reusable Lunapads: ok I know some people think this one is gross, but hear me out - I used disposable pads for my first week and half postpartum and HATED every minute of it! They were incredibly uncomfortable, itched, rubbed and got scrunched up in my underwear constantly. When you're a walking zombie who's vagina feels like a bowling ball just went through it and whose breasts are sore from being sucked on night and day, you'll do anything to be comfortable! I switched to my lunapads and won't ever go back! They're super soft and absorbent so I'm much more comfortable plus I can just toss them in the wash and reuse them. They're eco-friendly, sure, but most importantly they're comfortable AND money saving;-)

6. Reusable Breast Pads: I have some all cotton ones that work decently well through one breastfeeding session without my milkies milk saver when I'm out and about. But I LOVE my bamboo, water proof backed sets of reusable breast pads from bububibi.com. They have a water proof backing on them so that even when I soak through them it doesn't leak through my shirt. Again, just toss these in the wash OR hand rinse them and lay them in the sun to dry to kill yeast, neutralize breast milk stains and leave them smelling fresh.

7. Homemade Oatmeal Sitz Bath: Do yourself a HUGE favor and take a sits bath everyday for a week immediately postpartum so that you heal faster and feel refreshed. A happy momma = a happy baby:-) My homemade formula: 1 big bag epsom salts (maybe 8 cups worth), 1 box powdered oatmeal (found in baby food section), 20-30 drops of lavender oil and 20-30 drops geranium oil. Hand mix all together and put in large container. Use 1 cup of mixture per bath, soak in hot water for at least 15 minutes while baby sits nearby or someone else holds them for a while. You deserve this momma!

8. Comfort Zone Album: by Steven Halpern. Find it on iTunes for $10. I practiced my hypnobirthing with this cd and actually went through labor and birth with this playing in the background. It has lulled me and baby to sleep when nothing else would over the last few weeks. Worth every penny! The soothing notes have no particular beat to them making it easier to drift off to.

9. Camelback Water Bottle: Invest in a fancy insulated one with the camelback straw. This thing is on my bedside table and follows me around the house from breastfeeding station to bedside table to the kitchen. Essential for breastfeeding mommas who should be drinking around 100 fluid ounces of water per day!

10. High Protein, High Fat Snacks: A well fed momma can produce good milk for her baby. It's inevitable that sometimes you will forget to eat until you're starving and when does that usually hit you? In the middle of the night, when you're breastfeeding and unable to get up and fix yourself something. SO  - keep some nuts and seeds based trail mixes on hand at all times and on your bedside table. Find some healthy, pre-prepared foods you can keep near your primary breastfeeding station and eat when the baby eats or right after. You will be glad you did!

53 Hours of Labor

53 Hours of labor. Sounds pretty intense, right? But it really wasn't. The first 43 were rather boring actually. I wasn't even uncomfortable. Stressed - definitely - but not uncomfortable. In fact, I got one very solid night of rest during that period! Though I didn't know it at the time, apparently I was defying all medical wisdom by allowing it to go that long. My waters released at 4am Thursday but nothing much really happened until 11:30pm Friday evening. I had walked several miles, started pumping to stimulate my body's natural secretion of oxytocin and been bouncing on the stupid birthing ball for hours. Nothing. My family had come into town, canceled plans and rearranged all work schedules just to be present and I had very little to show for all their efforts. After about 36 hours we went in for a NST - a non stress test - to check on the baby. He was fine. I didn't have a fever. My pelvis checked out as being fine for delivery. BUT I was only dilated 1 stinkin' centimeter after almost 2 days of labor and minor contractions! UGH!!
We went home and prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Oh, and I cried a ton. The midwife had been certain we should go to the hospital and I should be induced with pitocin to get things moving along. This news was devastating to this crunchy mommy! My dreams of giving birth to our son in a quiet, tranquil environment where his daddy and I could bond with him immediately afterward without the hustle and bustle of hospital staff was quickly disappearing into the night as we drove home from the birthing center. My husband, my greatest supporter and best friend who stayed by my side the entire time, graciously and selflessly took the lead. When I was utterly hopeless and ready to just give in and go to the hospital, we decided to wait until the 48 hour mark at 4am Saturday. I was instantly relieved. We had both had an indescribable peace about everything along the way. We felt no need to make it an emergency situation when the baby and I were doing fine. So we decided to follow our instincts and instead of making a decision out of fear, we decided to wait a bit longer so that we could exhaust all possible means of initiating contractions naturally. Our doula recommended many different natural inductions so my husband went to the natural food store and bought Caulophyllum, castor oil and black cohosh tincture. Every 30 minutes he gave me a dose of the caulophyllum with a cup of hot pregnancy tea from traditional medicinals and a dropperful of black cohosh tincture. Every hour, for 3 hours, he dosed me with castor oil mixed in orange juice followed by a hot shower. We prayed. I pumped with the borrowed breast pump from the birthing center. And after my final dose of castor oil and one final hot shower, we fell into bed around 11:30pm, exhausted from 2 days of trying to induce contractions. No sooner did his head hit the pillow than hubby fell into a deep sleep.
However, on my side of the bed something wonderful started to happen. I was contracting. FINALLY! Hard, long contractions started almost as soon as I lay down. I ignored them, so discouraged from the last 2 days, and decided I would try to sleep through them. I couldn't! They came harder and stronger until I had experienced 6 or so and thought I should maybe get up and time them. By 1:30 they were only 2-3 minutes apart and coming on nice and strong so I woke up the hubby and we headed to the birthing center. Those 2 hours in between I sat in the bathroom working through contractions and praising God for his faithfulness. It was miraculous how things literally went from nothing to contractions coming every 5 minutes or less instantly!
The time at the birthing center went by so quickly. I labored until 8:58am when Josiah was born, but the 7.5 hours went by so fast! I felt as though I was on another planet and time stood still. The room was dimly lit, the deep bath tub filled with warm water, quiet music from the Comfort Zone cd played in the background and my midwife, doula and husband were my companions. The atmosphere was perfect. Although Josiah was in the perfect position I experienced severe back labor, perhaps due to my rare genetic disorder called Nail Patella Syndrome which has caused a bit of scoliosis. The doula showed hubby how to put counter pressure on my back to help me through each surge and he rarely left my side:-) He was absolutely essential in helping me labor so smoothly. His presence, his quiet words of encouragement and his touch made everything easier. The water in the bath was delightful and eased my discomfort greatly at times. I was able to sleep a bit in the tub during longer pauses and I rested on the bed at one point too while the doula massaged my aching back. She also was essential as she offered me water and juice and the coconut pineapple banana ice cubes I had made for this time. She reminded me to breath, to practice my hypnobirthing techniques and to relax into each surge.
Things got more intense, and the water no longer felt good, so I got out of the tub and paced. I started vomiting on the most difficult surges and my body started contracting downward so hard that it was difficult to breath through them. But each time this happened I felt the baby moving down farther and this excited me so much that I wanted to keep going. When I felt I couldn't go on much longer and started seriously considering that epidural, I vomited a few more times and then said, "I think he's coming! I feel something between my legs...there's a slimy bulge between my legs!" I took a few more steps and it was difficult to walk about without my legs spread wide apart. I leaned over the tub to get in...drats! The water had been emptied because I had thrown up so much and they were trying to get me fresh water to birth in. But it had filled only inches and there was no way I could wait until it was full to birth. Standing by the tub I threw up one last time on a hard downward contraction and his little head slipped easily out. I said something to the effect of, "Someone needs to catch him!" and then saw my husband's hands there ready for him. I never pushed. I never needed to. I breathed 2 or 3 deep breaths and out he slipped into his daddy's hands. 53 hours of labor later my sweet baby boy was born into his daddy's strong loving hands and we held him together in shock and awe at what we had just done together. The midwife and doula stepped to the side and sat quietly on the bed while we marveled at the tiny life in our hands and inspected him. Wow what a feeling. Life and love at its fullest, brimming and spilling over into greater and greater depths of life and love. I can hardly explain it but it was one of the greatest moments of my life. A sense of relief, a sense of accomplishment and victory, and most of all a great sense of gratitude for this blessing swept over me.
All I can say when I look back on it is that God is Good ALL THE TIME. He is real. He answers our most desperate and specific prayers perfectly. He answered my prayers that my husband could be present at the birth despite all the odds that were stacked against us with my husband's job as a military officer. He answered my prayers that our baby would go to full term and be born healthy and whole. He answered my prayers for a comfortable, easy birth. He answered my prayers for the love and support that I so desperately needed in the days and weeks following Josiah's birth with family and friends. He continues to meet my needs daily since I became a new mommy. He is Jehovah Jireh, my provider.
I chose to believe when I first became pregnant that God designed our bodies perfectly. He designed the female body to give birth. Labor and birth, more often than not according to the facts and statistics, is a normal, natural process of life for a female. So if God designed our bodies for birth, and if he designed babies to be born, then I decided I would choose to live out my pregnancy as if nothing were wrong and nothing were going to go wrong unless proven otherwise. I decided to trust in my body's instincts and God's faithfulness. May God receive all the honor and praise from this new crunchy mommy for proving himself again that He is sovereign.
53 hours of labor forced me to wait upon the Lord and his timing. His timing is always perfect:-) My hope is that this can be a word of encouragement for other soon to be mommy's out there who are looking into an all natural birth. Let me encourage you that birth is not as scary as it's made out to be! It's a beautiful, wonderful passage of life that brings with it so many amazing feelings and changes. Trust your body and, most of all, trust God.